Thank you Heron for a most wonderful meeting!!!

As you know our topic tonight was Family Rituals with Linda Heron Wind, PhD. It was a fantastic meeting and I will attempt to put notes up here. If you see something I missed, please post a comment. Here goes:

It is so important for you to be in touch with your authentic self, that is what your saying, feeling, and doing all matching up. When this doesn't happen, kids know regardless how well you try to mask it. How do rituals tie in? The predictability and rhythm gives them a sense of relaxation and belonging. Rituals are important in helping with transition times as well.

Dreams: Sharing of dreams was touched upon. In talking about dreams you can get a sense about what is going on with your child, whether they are anxious etc. and how their energy is. You want to be sure to share your dreams, too. Modeling is so important to these new children, it creates a great sense of connection.

Meal times: Giving thanks and compliments to others, giving and receiving gratitude.

Family:
Talking Stick ritual. Only the person in possession of the talking stick may talk. It is a bonding tool used by parents and children and puts them on equal footing. You don't necessarily have to problem solve during this time, listening and hearing what the person w/ the stick is saying is all that matters.

gourd bowl or basket. If there is something you'd like to talk about writing or drawing what it is and placing it in the bowl. If there is something frustrating you or the children place that concern in the bowl and before bed pull out what is in the bowl and try to discuss it. This gives the problem the space that is sometimes needed. One can call it the talking basket or bowl.

Cards with faces and emotions. Create cards with different faces and emotions, ask children to show which one they are feeling and what makes them feel that way.

Turtling: Explain to children how the a turtle retreats into its shell when it is scared or angry. What does it do? It relaxes and tries to figure out what it will do next. What are some choices? A adult can say to a child, "I think it is time to turtle", this makes it easy to convey the message of, "I think you need to do x,y, and z", what a nice way to say I think you are frustrated and need help. A child can also mention turtling to an adult.

When you are angry with your child always turn away from him/her, that way the negative energy will not be directed towards him/her, you won't be extended that energy towards him/her.

Bonding: Family altar, use cloth on a table or floor and place something on the cloth that represents each member of the family, extended, ancestors etc. You may also use a prayer bowl on your altar to deal with worries/anxieties. Light candles, use water, plants, elements and changing what is on it.